College Visit with Lewis

Well .. I thought if I came to Nebraska to see where my sweet boy would go off to college- I would be comforted. I would feel less sad about the thought of him leaving in 7 months because I would see where he would be and picture him here with new friends and attending classes and being on his own. I would feel less anxious about him being so far away - and feel assured that this is right where he needs to be.  I was wrong! Because now I know it's real! 😢! 

Okay - I admit.. I do feel better seeing the school and meeting the people.. It was all wonderful. 

Christopher aka Lewis (new name.. His middle name.. Still trying to make the switch as he prefers...ugh!).... Was in heaven this weekend. I was freezing- he walked around in shorts. I was obsessed with the deafening quiet on campus- he marveled at the peaceful calm. I wondered what he would do for fun- he was already envisioning himself on long runs through the campus, reading a good book in the coffee shop and hanging with friends in the dorms. I reminded him how far from home he will be and he celebrated the opportunity to spread his wings and do this thing on his own. 

My son- so very different from me. Adventurous, comfortable with quiet spaces, lover of all things music, laid back, calm, easygoing... Loved this small rural town with a Main Street and no sign of modern convenience. He loved the idea of being in a place where people know your name and enjoy simple things. 

Last night we went to see the choir perform their annual Christmas at Concordia concert. It was beautiful. Lewis was sold. He can't wait to be a part of this group singing next year. As we walked back to the car- he told me he thought God had it planned for him to come here all along. He said he felt peaceful and relaxed and inspired here. I'm sold too. The beginning of letting go... Trusting that Jesus will be with him every step of the way and praying we cherish our time together between now and then. 

Senior Year with my one and only son

GSo hard to believe that it is SENIOR YEAR!! There is so much to do right now that it's hard to let it all sink in... ACT/SAT's, college visits, college applications, senior pictures, cap and gown orders....it's alot and it's really overwhelming when all I want to do is enjoy every minute of this special 'last' year at home at this very time.

I have so many things to be thankful for but having a son like Christopher is at the top of the list. It's hard to even put into words. Christopher is pure joy and love. Hanging on tight! 

Senior Year/Freshman Year -- It's here - ready or not!

Christopher's last day of his Junior year was over a week ago... making him officially a SENIOR in high School and Catherine is now going to be a FRESHMAN in high school.

Everything has been pretty typical- end of the year pool party for Cat and her friends, cleaning out school lockers, both kids joyfully throwing away binders and folders and many papers from the year, me so relieved to not have tests and projects and finals behind us, letting the kids sleep in after so many early mornings, and a little pause in our calendar before the summer busyness sets in.

But in the middle of all of this - I've been having a silent emotional meltdown! I opened the mail and saw the words... "Congratulations - your son will be a Senior next year - it's time to schedule senior pictures." It's real. We have one year left. Everyone with seniors is posting 1st and last day pics and announcing college plans and celebrating the end and I'm just crying inside... "I'm not ready -- he's not ready -- wait-- I need more time!"

It really came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. SAT prep, college mail coming in daily, senior year schedule planning.....hold up- wait-- seriously --- I need more time!! I had my meltdown and cried and stressed and had my mom talk me off the ledge and my sisters talk me off the ledge and my ya-ya's who've already sent their babies off to college - talk me off the ledge! and then I kicked it into gear and started planning... SAT scheduled - check; college visit - check; summer planning  - check.

I'm trying not to be so melodramatic. Chris keeps telling me - Mom - I'm still going to be here next year! I'm not leaving yet and when I do- I will come home :) But, the reality that we are really here at Senior year unfolded so many emotions I was completely unprepared for -- have we done all the parenting we want to do before he leaves? Will he be ready to go off on his own? What does he want to do with his life? Where should he go to school? What if he doesn't get in?

College Visit at UL

I get this image of God looking down on me and smiling gently and nodding his head saying - "silly daughter of mine... I keep telling you - You are not in control! You need to sit down and be quiet and ask for my help and trust ME!" I'm so thankful to be walking with God .. I simply can't imagine not knowing that God will put his shield of armor around Chris as HE has done all his life. Knowing that He will provide wisdom on which path to take, that HE will be present in Chris' life now and always. It's comfort and peace and helps to settle me down!

Meanwhile - precious daughter is going to be a FRESHMAN! Of course we don't do anything easy around here. We thought about switching schools early on since this is the time to do it ... starting high school. We toured new schools and talked about it alot. We decided we were happy where we were and weren't making a change. Weeks before the end of school we had a change of heart and I whisked everything into motion to make the change. The blessing is that Chris and Cat will both be at the same school for the first and only time! Oh happy day! :) I am elated. Cat will be going to school with a longtime friend she made at the age of 4. She is stepping way outside of her comfort zone to go to a bigger school where she won't know anyone other than Abigail. I'm so proud of her and her courage.

Cat and Abigail - visiting Concordia High School

Last TWCA Cheer Banquet

I'm going to savor every moment with these two right now - before we have to take a deep breath and jump into next year. As my precious friend Liz reminds me often- "these are the days we will remember all of our life." I know it's true.

In the middle of end of school and new school decisions for Cat for High School and college planning for Chris- Mother's day came around and I got this from Christopher! 

Oh precious child- right to my heart! It was exactly what I needed. I knew that God knew I needed some affirmation. I needed to know that Christopher is going to be just fine and he is a wonderful young man and yes he is continuing to grow - and we fight about him shaving every week:) - but he is loving and compassionate and giving and the sweetest boy I could ever ask for. 

So while we tackle our -"Getting Ready to Launch" list (yes, I really do have a list!), I will remember that we are right where we need to be and I will slow down and enjoy this special time in our lives. 

Camp Nakanawa - 2011

Camp Nakanawa 2011

What a blessing! Catherine and Abigail went away for 2 weeks for the 3rd year to Camp Nakanawa in Tennessee.  Despite the rain that came, they had the time of their lives and continued to grow in so many ways. They re-united with old friends and made some new... Catherine conquered her fear and held a snake and surprised us all by volunteering to be a dining hall aid... and Abigail confidently led her horse around the ring in the horse show. God calls us to continue to grow and learn and explore what He has created and.. what better place to do that ... in the mountains of Tennessee. 

In memory of Tex!

I didn't want to get a dog. Our lives are busy and on some days it's all we can do to keep up with the 4 of us. How could we bring a dog into this chaotic family? We wet out to get the Christmas tree 2 years ago and there he was just begging to be adopted. Chris and kids begged, Jon begged and I maintained a firm No. Cat asked me to hold him and look at this sweet little puppy named Tex. I couldn't resist... He was pretty darn cute. I caved and we marched into Petsmart to load up on puppy gear. The adventure began immediately. Feeding house training, crate training. He was fun and sweet and loveable. He became Jon's day companion and Cat loved on him as soon as she was home from school. 

I was reluctant. I regretted having this new added responsibility. I resented that he had ruined out carpet.. I was annoyed that I felt guilty when I was home alone wth him and felt that he needed attention. 

This changed. I often worked late and when I got home and Jon and the kids were sleeping, Tex was there waiting for me. On Saturday mornings when I was ready to jump up and tackle the long to do list, tex was there to snuggle into the chair with me to force me to sit and relax. I went in endless walks with him determined to train him. He was a great dog. He was just what we needed. He forced us to work together as a family. Chris loved his buddy who would sit with him and listen to music. Jon loved his buddy who would keep him company all day. Cat loved to play with him, sleep with him, love on him and I loved to see him at the end of many long days. 

His time with us was too short,.. But I am thankful I said Yes to Tex!