Hearing God's Voice ..... on the golf course!

I'm sitting here on the golf course with Jon watching Catherine practice for her round at the TAPPS State golf competition. It's pretty surreal to actually be here. I remember when she started golf at 7 and 8 years old at the WJGA. She was so little. Of course a cute pink golf shirt and a white bow for her hair was a must. I would laugh and tell her - no matter how you play.. you look Great!

She would spend 2 hours getting through her 2 hole round and we would cheer her on like it was the PGA. We went through all the stages of moving up to 3 hole and then 6 and 9 and finally 18.

We couldn't help but love all the beautiful trees on the course and of course no that they would be great climbing trees!

When we look back at pictures we will see a smiling cute little golfer.. but her journey in learning to play was not all fun. She was painfully shy and getting paired up on the course to walk alongside an unknown partner brought on much anxiety. She learned to loosen up and make some small talk between holes eventually.. but it wasn't easy. More than anything, she hated playing poorly and when her shots would go sailing into the water or skipping off to the right deep into the trees - we would see the bouncy smile disappear and sad little tears come streaming down her sunburned freckled face. As she fought back the tears carrying her bag from hole to hole, we often had to helplessly watch from the cart without a word. The lineup of carts at each hole with on-looking parents was often all that she could handle as she pushed ahead from one bad shot to the next. We wanted to tell her that it would all be fine. We wanted to say- time out-- we need to talk to her for a minute.. but golf doesn't really allow for that.. .it's structured and requires etiquette and manners and composure. It doesn't allow a breakdown in the middle of the fairway. It doesn't allow you to pick up your clubs and take a break. Golfers are in front of you and behind you and regardless of how you hit.. you must move forward. And Thank God for that.

God has literally used golf in Catherine's life to show her so many things He wanted her to know. He wanted her to know that it is a blessing to be healthy and have the opportunity to be on a beautiful green golf course. He wanted her to know that just as He love her, having her dad cherishing every minute with her is a gift she will treasure all her days. He wanted her to know that the game of golf mirrors life -- it is challenging and it always will be. It is in the challenging moments that you dig deep and persevere. You quiet yourself and focus. You remind yourself that one hole does not determine your score or your ability.

Jon (Coach) excited to be heading out for the practice round.

Unlike the other sports Catherine has played, golf has uniquely challenged her against herself. The past 2 days, I have watched my now big grown up girl take notes on yardage and Par and where to place her drives. I watched her confidently join a new group for the practice and competition rounds and effortlessly join in. I've watched her have some great holes and some challenging holes and still get in the cart with a smile. At the end of the round - she said, I played well. I'm proud of myself. Ah! Thank you Lord! You did it! you used hours and hours on a golf course to help her see what You see. Not sure what the future of golf looks like - but absolutely sure we will remember all of the time on the course and know that it made all the difference.

I'm going to miss this! Getting ready to let go..

From the moment you know you are pregnant, Everyone  tells you to cherish the days because they go by fast. From where I sit right now - Fast - was lightening speed. This is it. He's graduating and he's leaving home. He's not just going across town or an hour away - he's flying far away to start this new college chapter of his life.  I feel like I'm in a movie and we keep flashing back from the past to the present. I replay the moment they put him in my arms after 28 hours of labor and an emergency c-section. That day. That moment where I finally held him in my arms. He had my heart right there. Then came big hugs and kisses and snuggling up for Elmo movies and Buzz Lightyear. Night after night of goodnight moon and singing him to sleep. Arms held up - "hold you mommy!".. And "I love you mommy!" Then, one phase after another-- Thomas the train, rescue heroes, frogs and endless Legos! This sweet boy of mine! 

Christopher Lewis who played quietly for hours but could tell stories of characters and imaginary worlds as long as I would listen. This boy who grew to love books and music and drawing and writing. This curious, imaginative, sensitive boy who grew to love theatre and learned every word of the soundtracks for the plays we saw together. This boy who only ate about 3 foods and is now an official foodie who loves cooking and food despite his many food allergies! 

We had play-doh days that went on for hours, bike rides to the park, our famous midnight swims! so many lazy days with pancakes at noon and cross country family vacations driving all together with license plate games, marathon board game nights, movies and lots and lots of laughter!

Christopher Lewis... First child, a son! These two who love skiing together, and steak nights, and listening to loud music together and goofy days in the pool and mean Monopoly competition and endless cards and scrabble games. 




Christopher Lewis... Catherine's big brother! The best part. No greater joy have we had than seeing his love for her and her love for him. Pure. Honest. Unbreakable.

I've loved every minute of the journey and seeing his story unfold. I think how God must have been smiling on me saying.. Just wait.. It's only going to get better .. And it did. Lunch dates over happy meals turned into Friday night mother /son dates over sushi or coffee runs and lately cooking together. (Heaven on earth!) talking about books and travel and this and that.. But the best has been long late night talks about what matters... Jesus and our purpose and opining about all the worldly topics. 

I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss him. 

Our conversations changed from - time for a bath, let's pick up your toys, we need to do our homework.. To "buckle up, you need to shave, lers get your tux for prom..."... Blink of an eye. 

Wicked (Spring 2014)

(College Visit to UL - May 2015)

 I'm so ecstatically happy for him and  praising Jesus for carrying him through and protecting him ... But I'm going to miss this.. All of it! He will come home.. But this part is over. How many nights I've been so exhausted I could barely think, but I ran up those stairs to say goodnight and then ended up laying on his bed and talking till midnight:) or spontaneously running over to Barnes and Noble for coffee and books or having him play his latest Spotify finds for me. 

I have truly loved every minute!! I'm so grateful and blessed that God nudged me through every season of it- to be present. Stay right there and take it all in. 

New York (November 2015)