Senior Year/Freshman Year -- It's here - ready or not!

Christopher's last day of his Junior year was over a week ago... making him officially a SENIOR in high School and Catherine is now going to be a FRESHMAN in high school.

Everything has been pretty typical- end of the year pool party for Cat and her friends, cleaning out school lockers, both kids joyfully throwing away binders and folders and many papers from the year, me so relieved to not have tests and projects and finals behind us, letting the kids sleep in after so many early mornings, and a little pause in our calendar before the summer busyness sets in.

But in the middle of all of this - I've been having a silent emotional meltdown! I opened the mail and saw the words... "Congratulations - your son will be a Senior next year - it's time to schedule senior pictures." It's real. We have one year left. Everyone with seniors is posting 1st and last day pics and announcing college plans and celebrating the end and I'm just crying inside... "I'm not ready -- he's not ready -- wait-- I need more time!"

It really came out of nowhere and hit me like a ton of bricks. SAT prep, college mail coming in daily, senior year schedule planning.....hold up- wait-- seriously --- I need more time!! I had my meltdown and cried and stressed and had my mom talk me off the ledge and my sisters talk me off the ledge and my ya-ya's who've already sent their babies off to college - talk me off the ledge! and then I kicked it into gear and started planning... SAT scheduled - check; college visit - check; summer planning  - check.

I'm trying not to be so melodramatic. Chris keeps telling me - Mom - I'm still going to be here next year! I'm not leaving yet and when I do- I will come home :) But, the reality that we are really here at Senior year unfolded so many emotions I was completely unprepared for -- have we done all the parenting we want to do before he leaves? Will he be ready to go off on his own? What does he want to do with his life? Where should he go to school? What if he doesn't get in?

College Visit at UL

I get this image of God looking down on me and smiling gently and nodding his head saying - "silly daughter of mine... I keep telling you - You are not in control! You need to sit down and be quiet and ask for my help and trust ME!" I'm so thankful to be walking with God .. I simply can't imagine not knowing that God will put his shield of armor around Chris as HE has done all his life. Knowing that He will provide wisdom on which path to take, that HE will be present in Chris' life now and always. It's comfort and peace and helps to settle me down!

Meanwhile - precious daughter is going to be a FRESHMAN! Of course we don't do anything easy around here. We thought about switching schools early on since this is the time to do it ... starting high school. We toured new schools and talked about it alot. We decided we were happy where we were and weren't making a change. Weeks before the end of school we had a change of heart and I whisked everything into motion to make the change. The blessing is that Chris and Cat will both be at the same school for the first and only time! Oh happy day! :) I am elated. Cat will be going to school with a longtime friend she made at the age of 4. She is stepping way outside of her comfort zone to go to a bigger school where she won't know anyone other than Abigail. I'm so proud of her and her courage.

Cat and Abigail - visiting Concordia High School

Last TWCA Cheer Banquet

I'm going to savor every moment with these two right now - before we have to take a deep breath and jump into next year. As my precious friend Liz reminds me often- "these are the days we will remember all of our life." I know it's true.

In the middle of end of school and new school decisions for Cat for High School and college planning for Chris- Mother's day came around and I got this from Christopher! 

Oh precious child- right to my heart! It was exactly what I needed. I knew that God knew I needed some affirmation. I needed to know that Christopher is going to be just fine and he is a wonderful young man and yes he is continuing to grow - and we fight about him shaving every week:) - but he is loving and compassionate and giving and the sweetest boy I could ever ask for. 

So while we tackle our -"Getting Ready to Launch" list (yes, I really do have a list!), I will remember that we are right where we need to be and I will slow down and enjoy this special time in our lives.