I'm going to miss this! Getting ready to let go..

From the moment you know you are pregnant, Everyone  tells you to cherish the days because they go by fast. From where I sit right now - Fast - was lightening speed. This is it. He's graduating and he's leaving home. He's not just going across town or an hour away - he's flying far away to start this new college chapter of his life.  I feel like I'm in a movie and we keep flashing back from the past to the present. I replay the moment they put him in my arms after 28 hours of labor and an emergency c-section. That day. That moment where I finally held him in my arms. He had my heart right there. Then came big hugs and kisses and snuggling up for Elmo movies and Buzz Lightyear. Night after night of goodnight moon and singing him to sleep. Arms held up - "hold you mommy!".. And "I love you mommy!" Then, one phase after another-- Thomas the train, rescue heroes, frogs and endless Legos! This sweet boy of mine! 

Christopher Lewis who played quietly for hours but could tell stories of characters and imaginary worlds as long as I would listen. This boy who grew to love books and music and drawing and writing. This curious, imaginative, sensitive boy who grew to love theatre and learned every word of the soundtracks for the plays we saw together. This boy who only ate about 3 foods and is now an official foodie who loves cooking and food despite his many food allergies! 

We had play-doh days that went on for hours, bike rides to the park, our famous midnight swims! so many lazy days with pancakes at noon and cross country family vacations driving all together with license plate games, marathon board game nights, movies and lots and lots of laughter!

Christopher Lewis... First child, a son! These two who love skiing together, and steak nights, and listening to loud music together and goofy days in the pool and mean Monopoly competition and endless cards and scrabble games. 




Christopher Lewis... Catherine's big brother! The best part. No greater joy have we had than seeing his love for her and her love for him. Pure. Honest. Unbreakable.

I've loved every minute of the journey and seeing his story unfold. I think how God must have been smiling on me saying.. Just wait.. It's only going to get better .. And it did. Lunch dates over happy meals turned into Friday night mother /son dates over sushi or coffee runs and lately cooking together. (Heaven on earth!) talking about books and travel and this and that.. But the best has been long late night talks about what matters... Jesus and our purpose and opining about all the worldly topics. 

I'm going to miss this. I'm going to miss him. 

Our conversations changed from - time for a bath, let's pick up your toys, we need to do our homework.. To "buckle up, you need to shave, lers get your tux for prom..."... Blink of an eye. 

Wicked (Spring 2014)

(College Visit to UL - May 2015)

 I'm so ecstatically happy for him and  praising Jesus for carrying him through and protecting him ... But I'm going to miss this.. All of it! He will come home.. But this part is over. How many nights I've been so exhausted I could barely think, but I ran up those stairs to say goodnight and then ended up laying on his bed and talking till midnight:) or spontaneously running over to Barnes and Noble for coffee and books or having him play his latest Spotify finds for me. 

I have truly loved every minute!! I'm so grateful and blessed that God nudged me through every season of it- to be present. Stay right there and take it all in. 

New York (November 2015)